Three Zissises In London (Part Five: St Paul's)

So rolling on down to the last full day, where the parentals and I decided (for reasons passing understanding) to climb St Paul's Cathedral. Sure, we had a look inside first, at all the lovely memorials and gravesites and the truly stunning spectacle that is the cathedral itself.
During the Blitz all (ok, much) effort was put into preserving St Paul's. While the bombs managed to miss this gigantic target, the danger came instead from fires started in its vicinity. There are several memorials, therefore, to the firefighters who risked their lives during the raids to protect the cathedral, which became a symbol of hope to many.

In the end, however, there were stairs to be climbed. Lots of them. 259 of them will take you to the Whispering Gallery, where hopeful and ultimately gullible tourists try to whisper to each other across the massive dome, after being assured that if you whisper into the wall on one side of the gallery, someone on the other side will be able to hear you perfectly. We whispered for several minutes to no avail, but I assume somewhere there are rooms full of giggling staff members.

Another 119 steps and a discomfortingly narrow passage later, we arrive on the Stone Gallery, which circles the outside of the dome. Here we caught our respective breaths and had a look at the view:

Just in case you don't believe we made it to the top:

Here Dad and I left Mum on a bench and braved the spiralling staircase up through the remainder of the dome and 152 steps to the Golden Gallery, which is right at the top, and has only a little narrow circle around which to push past other breathless climbers in order to look out across London. Jebus.

The walk back down is, if you're interested, infinitely worse than the walk up. This is where your legs start to shake. I am such a paragon of fitness that I had to sit down for ten minutes before I could walk like a normal person again.

Three Zissises in London (Part Four: The Ritz)

Put on your Fancy Pants, it's time to visit the Ritz!

As a thankyou for many, many years of suffering, I took my parents for High Tea at the Ritz Hotel. I hear it's the done thing. Boy howdy, they's right!

So here we are in our finery, resplendent against the elegant and incredibly fancy backdrop of the Palm Court Tea Room:

(I'm warning you right now, you're going to be seeing a lot of photos of food and yummy things)

Now first the waiters bring your choice of tea (there are about twelve different choices) and while Mum went for Assam and Dad for Earl Grey, I was a rebel and received my very own pot of the most delicious hot chocolate you've ever tasted.

Meanwhile, Mum was somewhat unamused at my attempts to capture the moments:While Dad posed like a champion:

Next they bring in the food - a three-tiered contraption full of sandwiches and incredibly lovely looking desserts (the second tier is for the scones, which for some reason come later...perhaps not to overwhelm you with choice).

I can tell you right now, if you're thinking that those sandwiches are never going to fill up three people, you're dead wrong. And here, the King of the Ritz sandwiches, the cucumber:

Then, once we were regretting asking for more chicken sandwiches (despite the cucumber's pedigree, the chicken was the tastiest), they brought out the scones. Check out these babies:

And finally, it was time to hit the dessert platter. Good. Freaking. Lord. I'm pretty sure one of them was made with actual gold.

It's around here that my photo-logging of the day got a little relaxed...possibly because I needed both hands to rub my belly. In the meantime, this is for those who have always wondered what the toilets at the Ritz look like:

Once the pianist had played my song choices we couldn't stretch our stay any longer, and so off we waddled, very, very full and very, very content.

After we'd changed into something more comfortable we went to see Andrew Lloyd Webber's sequel to the Phantom of the Opera: Love Never Dies. Now the singing was spectacular, the music was lovely, the sets were AMAZING, but the plot, which seemed to rely on a certain amount of the original not having happened at all, well, let's just say the sets were amazing.

(In the interests of not being sued, this photo was taken before the performance started, and before the ushers could catch me and tell me I wasn't allowed to take photos. Ha.)

Three Zissises in London (Part Three: Buckingham Palace)

(First of all, I should acknowledge the massive gaps between when this actually happened and when I posted a blog about it. Chalk it up to avoidance issues.)

Once upon a time, three Zissises went to visit the Queen...

...or at least the place where she lived...sometimes. On our way to Buckingham Palace, though, we stopped off in St James's Park to chat with the locals.

The squrls in this particular park are so tame they'll come right up to you if they think there's the chance of a snack. Of course, those humans without snacks to pacify said squrls have to back away sharpish in case there's a backlash.Here are some pelicans...or possibly a giant white flamingo, or some other bird with extraordinarily long legs...

Anyway, one quick rainstorm later we made it into Buckingham Palace, the inside of which there are unfortunately no photos (blame the unreasonable demands of "security") but we did see some beautiful pieces of art, a secret passage or two and (get your exclamation marks ready) Her Majesty's Hat Collection! Huzzah! We were told that visitors to the Palace are made to feel as comfortable as possible, and that all your dietary needs will be carefully considered and provided for. Aw.

History Lesson: During the first World War the palace was the target of bombing raids, and was in fact hit, not far from where King George VI and Queen (consort) Elizabeth were at the time. Royalty, it turns out, are made of pretty stern stuff, and within the hour they were out and visiting the East End of London, which had been heavily bombed.

It is, rest assured, a beautiful palace, and the backyard is apparently kept in a constant state of sunshine. Observe.

Here's a photo I dare anyone to resist titling "The Royal Wee":

After that we took a leisurely stroll around the Palace Gardens, which contains a lake, and a fairy ring of mushrooms (of which I took about twelve photos before I realised there was a park attendant watching me and smirking, like I'd never seen a mushroom before)...

Here comes the obligatory Close-Up-Macro-Shot-Of-Plant-Life:

After we'd had our fill of Buckingham Palace I took Mum and Dad on a cross-city endurance trek (I don't think my assurances that "I'm pretty sure this is the right direction" were winning their confidence) to find the Best Pies In London, available at the Newman Arms.

I had the lamb and rosemary, in case you were interested...